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Sunday, February 26


While having breakfast earlier,

“Nate, anak? Alam mo I had a dream?”

“Di nga mom? Ako rin eh… What’s your dream about?”

She was with my brother, Louie, at some scenic spot somewhere.

There’s a waterfall and a huge body of water below; it looks deep. They're at shore near it. People were there; locals just passing by and tourists taking pictures and admiring the beauty of the waterfall.

One thing she noticed, was no one was taking to another. Tourists should been rather inquisitive; locals, convivial.

Yet, everyone seems indifferent.

From afar, she saw something; someone… There was a kid’s body, floating in the water. She seems lifeless.


“A girl drowned!” mom shouted, pointing at the floating girl.

No one seemed to care.

She, then, pulled Louie and asked him to help the little girl. Without another word, my brother took off his shoes, his shirt and dived in the water. The moment Louie splashed in, mom noticed it got the attention of the people around her. They all turned to see what was happening.

Then, the unusual occurred.

One local dived in the water, and transformed into a stingray.

A tourist dived in, as well, and turned into a dolphin.

Two more dived in, and turned into a shark and a huge eel.

They all swam to where the floating girl was, but no one (or nothing) helped my brother in saving the little girl.

Louie was able to get the little girl out of the water, and did CPR. After a couple of tries, Louie gave up.

It turns out, the little girl didn’t seem lifeless; she was dead.

“Ang weird naman nun mom! Nagta-transform ang mga tao?”

“Oo. Kakaiba nga eh. Eh ikaw, anak? What was your dream about?”

“Parang ganito siya…”

 ***to be continued...

Wednesday, February 15


Your heart, it beats
like most of them does
and it resounds his name
creating such a fuss

His heart, it beats
the same way as yours
as your love for each other grows
while sailing at sea, and rowing with oars

Then strong winds came blowing
and huge waves took form,
you thought you both survived
the fiercest of the storms


Sweet, wonderful memories
of a love that once was quaint,
are the things you choose to keep
as the thudding, the rhythm fades

You’ve given it your all
till you have nothing more to give
and your heart loses color, wilts
so that his’ may live.

~to you, one of my Muses


*my entry to Magpie Tales
*photo credit

Tuesday, February 14

Saturday, February 11

Who’s up for Spontaneity?

Apparently, I am.

Stress from last week, and the week before that, took a toll on my health. Flu. I hate flu. Early morning on Friday, I got a text message from my boss. She will be on an OB Trip, and she requested me to attend a meeting on her behalf.

I could’ve said no; not if there’s anyone else who would.

I downed my dosage of meds, and reported to work.

After the meeting, someone from HR noticed and said “Nate, you look really sick. Uuwi ka na ba after this meeting?”

I told him my boss didn’t just want me to attend the meeting. She really wanted me to get back to work, and so I did.

After work, I suddenly got a message from C,

Wanna go out? Lika na.

I can’t help but smile everytime he makes lambing. I said yes. Maybe I could use some yakapsule and kisspirin. Hihi.

He arrived at the coffee shop before I did. Unusual. But I guess that’s how much he misses me (charot!). I could feel the Valentine’s ambiance inside the shop. The store designs, the couples having a date. Keri lang pala. Hindi kame OP ni C. Haha.

After having dinner, we snuggled while watching In Time, then Vampires Suck. Halfway thru the 2nd movie,

Babe, nasa malapit lang pala si Deebee. Invite mo here.

An impromptu meet up? Why not?

Ah talaga? Sige sige…

I’m surprised Deebee is up for it. Baka hindi siya busy sa work.

Kuya Nate d2 ko sa tapat. I’m d guy wearing the Lakers jacket.

I looked outside the coffee shop. True enough, there he was The Desole Boy.


We offered him tea, since hindi siya pwede sa kape.

Wow. This is it. The Desole Boy is right in front of us.

The feeling is just like when I met Eon: Giddy. Nervous. Awkward.

But then, when we started to talk, conversations flowed effortlessly. It’s like we’ve known each other for a long time. It’s always a nice feeling to get to know the person behind the blog.

We bid him goodbye, around almost two in the morning. He still has to traverse a long way home.

Babe, ano nangyari kay Charles? Let’s go see him?

I dunno, babe. You know how shy he is. He won’t show up daw eh, pag nalaman nyang pupunta tayo.

C’mon, let’s support your little bro.

So we did.

We went to the venue, and Charles scored us some tickets to the party:

It was nice to have, finally, met him in person too.

Inside was a pretty wild crowd. Youngsters partying like there’s no tomorrow. The people are nice. Lil bro introduced us to some of his friends.

Go ahead, babe. Dance.

Ako lang? C’mon, it’ll be fun.

I’m not used to this, so go on. Dance.

And dance, he did. After a short while, lil bro’s friends dragged me to the dance floor. I went with them, coz I don’t wanna be a buzzkill.


Groove a little.

Party’s off at 2:30 AM, so we said our goodbyes and headed home.

Inside the cab,

Pawis na pawis ka babe.

Hahahaha! Oh you know me, that’s my kind of scene.

Yeah, I could tell. I’m glad you enjoyed.

A liplock.

C makes me feel good. Nakalimutan kong nilalagnat ako. I didn’t feel sick at all, with him around.

So much spontaneity in one night: a random hangout with C, an impromptu meet up with two of my little brothers.

And to update my list of the little brothers I’ve seen in person:

Hmmm... So who’s up next?

Let’s see.

Tuesday, February 7

The Week that Was


Just when I thought the systems I’m handling are doing good, suddenly, emails, calls, and text messages are off the hook. WTF!

Sabog na nga sa work, sabog pa sa lovelife. POTA.

I hate the feeling that I’m losing control.

I’m crumbling.

Eto ako’t sinusubukang lunurin ang sarili sa ga-bundok na trabaho upang kahit panandalia’y mawaglit sa aking isipan ang pait ng mga pangyayari at maibsan ang hapdi sa aking puso. Wari ko’y unti–unting na nitong nilalamon ang aking natitirang bait sa sarili.

“I’m writing something. I’ll try to post it tomorrow.”

It was C. As how one blogger puts it, “confessions are cathartic”. So C wrote down what he feels and what has been going on about him.

“I just finished it. I hope somehow, I made my point.”

I was in tears.

Not just for him, but also for both of us.

I felt the urge to write something too, but felt it was too personal, and didn’t publish. One little brother asked how I was, and since I was tired of all the crying and the drama, I just let him read the unpublished entry.


I’m glad C and I are talking. It’s good to know that he is starting to get on his feet and pursue his dreams; one baby step at a time.

“Kaloka. Kinakabahan ako babe…”



He’s calling me babe again, and it puts a smile on my face. When your relationship is on limbo, you get to appreciate simple things like this.


“Busy? I’m calling…”

It was Yas. Apparently, he was organizing the meetup, which G posted in his blog. We talked. I think it was sweet of him to have asked how I was; how C and I were. He wanted me to invite C to the meet up.

How the f*ck am I going to do that?!

“Isama mo na sya, sasapakin kita pag di mo sya sinama”

Think. Think. Think.

Then an idea popped in my head.

We belong to a Twitter group we call: #SisterhoodOfTheTwitteringKembulars. In a way, people treat each other like a real life sister (or something like that); each one, part of our little kin.

C and I have always been a fan of the titleholders of #TronoNgKatamisan, Nimmy and Leo. And, so, I thought, that could make him go to the meet up with me.


I gathered up courage to ask him out. I texted him, and asked if we could meet,

“Hindi eh. Marami akong gagawin. Pero try ko tapusin.”



Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.



I was supposed to go on a movie bonding at Shang with former colleagues. We were supposed to watch The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I haven't heard from anyone before I left the office, so I thought:“Baka hindi 'to tuloy...”

I still went on my way to Shang, and waited for a while. Nothing. I think I've been ditched. Oh well. 

I asked him out, again. I told him we'll prolly have dinner, then coffee afterwards,




A sigh of relief.

When I was on my way to the MRT, my phone starting ringing. They were missed calls from the people I'm supposed to watch the movie with. Tuloy pala. I guess they just arrived late, and will take the next showing.

I begged off.

“Johnny Rockets.”

A text from C. Sosyal ang lolo mo. Kaloka. Pero sige, ibigay ang hilig. Johnny Rockets it is.

I arrived earlier than him, like the usual. I looked around the resto, and noticed there were only a few people. The place looks like 50's Diner at Baguio. Suddenly, the waiters/ waitresses started dancing to the sound of Staying Alive. Hahaha! :P

Then he entered the resto and sat down across me,

“Pota. Ang mahal pala talaga dito babe. Kaya pala sabi ni Le Ogre, mag-isa lang sya pero umabot ang bill nya ng Php 800.”

I don't care about Le Ogre. 

He called me babe. I can't take the silly, dopey smile off my face.

We talked.

“A lot of people are asking how we are.”

“Really? Like who?”

“Like Yas.”  

“What did he say?”

“Remember how I told you about the blogger meetup? He asked me if I could tag you along. Then I said, I'm not sure, coz I dunno where we stand. I told him we're on limbo. He, then, asked me how the two of us are. I said I don't know.”

“You told him what?”

“I told him, I don't know.”   

I wasn't looking at him when we were talking, because I was toying with my food. I couldn't bear to stare at him, I feel I'd crumble.

“You don't know?”

I nodded.

He stopped eating.

I looked at him, and gave him a bleak smile, then toyed with my food again. He, then, reached for my hand,

“You ok?”

“Uh huh”  

Then we talked some more.

After dinner, we dropped by to say hi to Le Ogre and his other friends who were having dinner at Pho Hoa. We also passed by, and hanged out a little with Lady in Black and her classmates at Kopi Roti, who were reviewing for an exam.

“Hatid na kita. I'll drop you off somewhere.”  

We hailed a cab.

Inside the cab, I felt awkward. Parang nagpapakiramdaman kame. Sino unang gagalaw

Ako ba? o siya?

C laid his hand, palm open, near my right leg. It's as if inviting me to hold his hand.

I did.

I looked at him, and he smiled. I smiled back, and laid my head on his shoulder. He laid his head on my head. I looked at him, again. This time, my hand is tracing his jawline, then his chin. He moved towards me; his face just an inch from mine.

A lip lock.

OMG. He kissed me.

I broke free from the kiss, and looked away, outside the cab's window.

My heart was pounding.

Then, he pulled me back, I pulled him closer.

A kiss.

A passionate kiss.

After arriving home, I received a text from C,

“Hihi. It’s like our first kiss. Ü”

It’s like he’s putting words in my mouth. That was exactly how it felt like.

I thought it was just me. But then, he also felt the same way.

“Hihi.. brings back giddy memories.. Your lips tasted as sweet as that first kiss.. *kilig”

“Hehe. Ang weird natin ngayong gabi haha.”

“Haha. Panong weird, babe?”

“Wala lang. I missed you so much lang talaga. Nasanay na lang din ako siguro kasi medyo matagal tayong hindi nagkita.”

“Ako, I super missed you.. hihi..”

“Hihi. We’re back on track babe. Ü”


C went with Le Ogre to JP Morgan Chase to apply. Apparently, they got lost, and walked from McKinley to Net Plaza. He wanted us to meet at the coffee, and so we did. I bought him his favorite cake, pampalubag-loob sa nangyari sa kanya. They were with another lady friend,

“Mukha kayong magkapatid...”

That's the fourth time I've heard that. The third one was during a drinking spree.

Well, I guess, a little bit because of how we look. We complement each other. Or, maybe because we're comfortable with each other. We're like best friends. I remember this one time, we're crossing the street at Edsa Shang for a blogger meetup,

”Para lang tayong mag-bestfriends noh, babe?"

“Oo nga.. You're like my long lost best friend."


“Haha. Wag nalang kaya kita boyfriend, babe. F*ck buddies nalang tayo. Watchathink?"

“Haha. Go!"

 “Tse! Yoko nga. Ayaw kitang i-share."

“I know."


I thought it was just me. But then, he also felt the same way.

One manager: “Your hair is long na, Nate. You should get a haircut.” 

Budoy: “Your hair's a mess.” 

Le Ogre: “Anyare? Ang haba na ng hair mo friend.”   


It's 4PM, and I've to meetup with C at 6PM for a blogger meetup at 8PM.

Went to 5 salons, but to no avail. Punuan lahat. WTF!

May hoarding ng salons? Kaloka.

On the 6th one, I waited for 30 minutes before it was my turn. OA sa volume ang hair ko, promise. So si ateng parlorista sprayed water sa hair ko. 

“Ay. Kaloka. Ambigat!! Limang kilo?”

I could've bitchslapped him. But I kept composure.

“Kuya, ba't ganito? Kaloka. Para kang miyembro ng kulto."

Dun ako natawa. Everytime magpapa-gupit ako, laging may nega na comments ang mga parlorista. Hahaha. Pero meron din namang magagandang comments sila pag tapos na nila akong gupitan ng buhok.

“Kuya, Para ma-meynteyn mo ang kagwapuhan mo, every 2 weeks ka magpagupit ha? Sayang."

“Jusko, sir. May itsura ka pala. Kanina kasi mukha kang tambay sa kanto."

“Ayan, mabango ka palang tignan sa totoong buhay, Sir. Kanina kasi mukha kang mabantot! Kaloka."

Hahaha. Them crazy parloristas make me laugh. :P

Then, off to the blogger meetup at Harbour Square. There were 9 of us: C & I, Jay, Jerro, Jap, Heyoshua, G, Yas, Nox.

At ang eksena ng gabi? Syempre ang pagiging messenger ko ng aking fwend na si RonRon! He wanted me to say this to Nox:



Had dinner at KFC.

Conversations over coffee at Starbucks.
Long mindless walk along Roxas Blvd going to Ermita (like a repeat of last time)
Got a feel of how it is at Orosa-Nakpil.
Torn between O-Bar or Bed.
Chickened out, feeling uncomfy and excused ourselves.

I know, we're such party poopers. I'm sorry.


C and I took a cab and went to C's turf.

Played 4 rounds of DoTA.

Went home tired, but happy.

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