Toxic and Alone

My mobile is ringing, but I ignored it. I went on to have snacks with my teammates. Who would’ve thought, this would be one of those toxic days?

I didn’t enjoy my coffee break, and what’s worse is that it was cut short because of 6 missed calls on my mobile and a phone call from the canteen. Seriously?! Who does that? Who’s effing crazy enough to call the canteen and look for me? But I understood Ms. J. The employees in one of our plants wouldn’t get paid, and her job depends on it; heads will roll, if you know what I mean.

With my Starbucks tumbler on my right and my mobile on my left, I dragged myself to their office. Then, I found myself in a frenzied room. The room smells “urgent”, “ASAP”, “deadlines”, and “last minute adjustments.” What have I gotten myself into?

The Department Manager stood firm on her decision: “walang uuwi hangga’t hindi yan tapos!”

My right ear hears a lot of complaints, while my left ear hears a lot of pleas: “Sir, please sana matapos natin ‘to para makauwi na ako. May flight pa ako mamaya.”

To cut the story short, I pretty much did what was supposed to be their tasks. Just so that we could expedite the processes, and make the employees of that certain plant happy to receive their payroll a day before the payday.

I called the partner to vent out. I felt so used. I felt exhausted. My head hurts like it’s splitting in half. The words of the partner are rather comforting:

It's ok babe, you have me. Let it all pass.

***

An afternoon the day after was a repeat of toxicity day. Four meetings straight from 3PM till the end of office hours.

I wanted someone to talk to. I need to vent it out, or I’ll lose my wits. The partner, apparently, also had a toxic week, so I let him party the night away with his friends. No restrictions (as far as amount of alcohol intake and curfew is concerned). I let him be. He deserves it.

I tried calling my “kaladkarin” coffee buddies instead. But unfortunately, they all have planned night outs already.

So I dragged myself to Edsa Shang to fetch some goodies for the partner, who’s craving for something. These ones in particular:

I was about to head home after that, but since I’m already at Shang, why not stay and do something? So I did.

I went to KFC. Mali pala. Mas mahirap pala kumain mag-isa sa fastfood. After getting my order, I tried to look for a vacant seat. Wala. I tried to look further dun sa may gilid, and there meron… Round table, couch type seat formed in a semi-circle, may sariling lighting.. Kaso, pang-animan.. Ako na ang mukhang loner. Pathetic.

So, I texted the partner of my whereabouts,

P:         Havin’ dinner by myself… Then coffee siguro…

            :(

C:         Talagang dinner by yourself eh no? :(

            Lika nga rito. Lets drink our troubles away. :3

P:         Tpos ung seat na available yung pang animan.. :(

ako na ang mukhang loner.. :(

C:         Yan kasi. Lika na!!! Kainin mo na yang dinner mo at mag landian na lang tayo.

Oha!!! Oha!!! San ka pa?! Siya na ang malandi… ay, ako rin pala… Hmm.. Sige.. Kame na ang malandi… :P

Nagpapaawa effect lang naman ako. I don’t wanna ruin yung nightout nya kasama ang mga buddies nya. So nag-text naman ako at gumawa ng rason,

P:         uhm, wait.. eh pano yung lakad mo with your friends?

            ang awkward lang kc gumala na may dalang lappie..

After dinner, off I went to make tambay and have a dose of caffeine na din:

 Starbucks’ Crème Brulee Frappuccino

The partner called to check me out, and I told him that I’m gonna be fine. We’ll meet naman on the next day, so I just thought of that to make me feel better.

Habang nakatambay and sipping my drink, I turned on my lappie and watched Hall Pass to kill time.

Tengene. Kill time daw. Eh mas maki-kill pala ang time ko sa paghihintay for a bus ride home. Kamusta naman ang dame ng tao at ang lampas isang oras bago ako nakasakay?!!

Hais…