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Wednesday, May 30

Bits and Pieces, Parts and Parcels

“Pardon me, milady, if I failed to answer your inquiries. I chose not to answer them. But the recent unfolding of events necessitates that I, your humble servant, come forward and inform you of what I know of…”


So how did it start?

You don’t exactly remember, but you try to recall.

June/ July 2011

All you know is that someone broke the ice, and started a chit-chat. Then, you both established a certain kind of connection as the usual chit-chats turned into deep conversations.

Deep? In what way?

You checked your DM. He gave you his YM ID: ****_*******

He wanted you to connect with him, privately; away from the prying eyes of others. You talk about life, family, aspirations, and plans for the future. He’s arranging to move to the States, for good (but not in the near future). So before he flies to the States, you arranged to meet by daring him. You were surprised, he took the bait.

He’ll be coming from a business trip in Batangas; he’s just waiting for the chauffer. He drives, yes. But maybe he’s tired, that’s why he asked the driver to take him to where you are.

“I’m just here, in front of <insert name of a bakeshop>. I’ll wait for you here.”

A car stopped.

Your heart thumps like crazy.

He came out of the car.

Finally, there he is; in the flesh.

“Totoo ba ‘to? Or you’re just flirting?” you asked him. He suggested that both of you just go with the flow, and see what happens.

You don’t know what you’re getting into, right? But you gave it a go?

Latter part of Aug 2011
You went online, and saw a DM from someone: “Ano yung ineemo emo mo sa twitter lately? Bawal magpass. Nagpass ka na before sa question ko. :)”

 You thought, it’s quite odd; you answered, nevertheless. It was nothing. It was just harmless flirting.

“really? eh diba nakikita ko minsan tweets nyo. may hugs hugs at kiss pa yata kayo? nyahaha. define harmless landian pala.”

The inquisitor, obviously, reads you, and him.

Then, the inevitable happened; you (and him) were caught doing something wrong

The inquisitor asked you to end whatever it is that you and him have.

Were you able to do it?

You tried to contact him, but he didn’t answer. He never explained his side.

So what happened after that?

He blocked you, out of his life. In turn, you blocked him too.

Mid Feb  2012
It was the second month of a new year.

It should be a fresh start, and everything should be a clean slate. You remember unblocking those you’ve blocked before.

You checked your followers.

To your surprise, he was there; following you. You felt awkward, but you gathered up courage to ask him.

“wala na un. okay na si <insert name of his ex> with it. why? u dont want me following you ba?”

Why the sudden change of heart?

You have no idea.

You were puzzled.

Why is he acting as if nothing happened?

Latter part of Feb 2012
“sige, bet kong malaman.”



What did you say?

You never really got to say anything. You were too preoccupied with work, and failed to keep your promise.

March 2012
By this time, the awkwardness between the two of you was lessened. And since you almost felt comfortable, you asked how he is; how his heart is.

“sus. single ako no. wla akong bf. sira. kaya nga may qualifications and criteria eh.”

“So that explains it,” you thought.

And you didn’t ask what happened?

It doesn’t matter.

He’s talking to you again, and you miss his air of "arrogance and wit" combined.

First week of April 2012
“hey. do you have a problem with me? i would appreciate it that if you do, you should tell it to me directly.”

That was his opening statement, when he learned that you asked his friends how he is. He was always like that—confrontational. He’s never afraid to speak his mind. He’d go to you, directly, and bluntly ask.

He’s in a relationship.

You want to distance yourself from him. You wouldn’t want another episode of what happened before. But he didn’t get it.

Nalabuan sya sa ‘yo?

You thought so.

He blocked you; you blocked him.


Mid to latter part of April 2012
You think his special someone (from the uptown), narrated how they were. But you’re not quite sure if the special someone was, indeed, referring to him.

He made an announcement.

He professed his love to the uptowner.

Early May 2012
“ok na kayo ni <insert his name>?”

A concerned friend asked how you and him were.


You’re not really sure. But, you said you’re, both, not ok. You haven’t heard from him for about a month or so. This friend wants things to be ok with you and him, and so you asked him to mediate. The friend will try, but he said can’t promise anything.

Being the temperamental guy that he is, you kind of doubted if this friend could really mediate for you and him.

So you wait.

Days after, you received word that he wasn’t feeling well. His so-called brother, discreetly, mentioned he was in this kind of medical condition and he’s worried about him. You asked how he is, and his brother said, “Let’s keep it to ourselves.”

Mid May 2012
He called it quits with the uptowner.

Really? That was fast.

Then you remember how he was with his ex before. He could keep a relationship going, last time you checked. Now, this…

There’s too much Hollywood going on.

May 21, 2012
News spread like wildfire over this community in twitter.

He passed away.

How? Why?

You contacted his closest friends, and they said cardiac arrest. You were stunned. You froze.

Last you’ve known about his whereabouts was when he got out of the hospital, and telling people he was fine.

Or so he thinks.

Another friend of his said he was complaining about chest pains the past few days. Maybe he wasn’t fine.

Now, he’s gone.


Then, you remember the mediator. You checked how he is. He’s still in denial. He can’t feel that he’s gone. He’s sure of how he feels.

You console the mediator.

You said that you were sorry; maybe you weren’t really meant to patch things up.

A teardrop or two, then you chose to move on.

Latter part of May 2012
A confirmation.

The uptowner was, indeed, referring to him, being his lover.

The story was told, hoping to give light to the events that transpired; "the truth," as how the uptowner puts it.

But you know how it is. There are many sides to a story.


And now you listen, as it is the mediator's turn to narrate his share of the story; his version of the truth.

What did the mediator say?

You chose to keep it to yourself.

But  who knows? Maybe his story would come out some time. Or maybe it already came out.

The inquisitor, you, the uptowner, now the mediator. Who else?


“...forgive me, if this was all too much to hear, milady. I just thought that you should know." 
~Jean Jacques Dormezvous, Esquire to the Raleighs
(Annals of the Monarchs, Chapter 5: A Lady of Four Estates)

Friday, May 25


~The Beatles, I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Oh yeah, I'll tell you something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

I, honestly, admire how you attentively listen to whatever it is that I’m saying. I remember how during our conversations, you’d look at me, and be interested on hearing stories of how my day was. In turn, I would keep silent, so that I could hear how your day went.

Oh, please, say to me
You'll let me be your man
and please, say to me
You'll let me hold your hand
Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

Whenever we see each other, either of us would extend an open palm. An invitation to hold hands. A way of saying one misses the other. A way of showing that no matter what happens; I’ll take care of you and you’ll take care of me.

And when I touch you i feel happy, inside
It's such a feeling
That my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide

You’d give my hand a squeeze, depending on how you feel. A clasp, neutral. A gentle squeeze, means you miss me. A hard squeeze, you’re annoyed or mad. At pag gigil ka about something or someone, you’d hammer my hand with your fist. Haha.

Yeah you, got that something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
Thank you, because in a society where kissing and other public displays of affection for people like us aren’t accepted; you’d proudly show how you love me; by holding my hand.

And when I touch you I feel happy, inside
It's such a feeling
That my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide
I love you, C! Happy 9th monthsary!

Wednesday, May 23

A Keeper’s Predicament

Must he give in,
to a play of the mind;
And make known the truths
that were left behind?

Sunday, May 13

A Mother’s Love

She often longs for sounds
of little feet upon the floor,
and hungers for the echo
of a child's sweet laugh once more.

Her gentle hands caress the quilt
upon the tiny bed,
where once a little child knelt down
and bedtime prayers were said.

Somewhere a man is unaware
that by the candle light,
a woman who is old in years
still prays for the child each night.

Through all the years, the joy and tears
and times that you apart,
nothing ever changes
the love within her heart.

She’s always there to hold you,
forever to enfold you
this gift from God above,
that’s a Mother’s love.

She’d clear away each branch that grows
across the path you take,
and every stumbling stone,
that would cause your heart to break.

But she must leave the branch untouched
and every stone still there,
for in her heart she's given you
into the Savior’s care.

When there are times of loneliness,
you never are alone,
for deep within her mother’s heart
you always are at home.

Through all the years, the joy and tears
and times that you apart,
nothing ever changes
the love within her heart.

She’s always there to hold you,
forever to enfold you
this gift from God above,
that’s a Mother’s love.

This gift from God above, that’s a Mother’s love.

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