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Thursday, August 25

Muted, Deafened


Misunderstood? Maybe…
But I tried to understand
I’ve to listen, hear you out
Yes, that’s part of the plan

Your voice echoes, I come running
Was that a cry or plea?
I’d be a sponge, a sounding board
A shoulder to lean on; that would be me

And then, you turned quiet
What is going on inside your head?
Soundless days, noiseless nights
And unspoken words left unsaid

If I’m of no use, then please do tell
So I won’t worry if your voice no longer reverberates
‘Cause if you’d deafen me with your silence,
Then I’ll break...

Deafen me with your silence… and I’ll break.

Photo from here

Wednesday, August 24

To the Girl on the Right

Was it you who told me to stop clicking
when I got hold of my camera?
Or was it I who stopped clicking
‘cause I was awestruck by your beauty, by your smile, by your aura?

You were beautiful, I was awkward
Yet your smile made it okay
I took a photograph of you and your siblings
And I still keep it to this day

That was that last I've seen you,
When off you went to chase your dreams
We never got to catch up
You've a different life, as it seems

All these years I tried finding you,
Your whereabouts, I never got to trace
But wherever I’d go, I bring this photograph, this memory of you...
Just in case.

~my entry to Magpie Tales

Sunday, August 21

Of Life and Democracy

Who is this man, whose face is in one of our peso bills, who has an airport named after him, and who has a monument along Ayala to name a few? Who is this man who said that the Filipino is worth dying for?

He is a man of courage; a man of genuine patriotism. He is Ninoy Aquinoand today marks the 28th year of his death.

The documentaries are there, the TV specials, the history books tell the life of this hero who passionately fought for the democracy that we are now enjoying. His love for his country and his countrymen put his and his family’s lives in danger. And on the 21st day of August 1983, the inevitable happened. He was assassinated.

And two years after, a baby boy was born to a farmer’s son and a soldier’s daughter. The couple waited ten long years for this child to arrive. He did. It was me.

I can’t help but be somewhat attached to Ninoy. We have something in common and I somehow feel the connection. But I’m not him. I’m nothing compared to what he achieved and the legacy he left behind. Sharing a significant historical date with a hero, though, has its upsides… Imagine, my birthday is a Special (Non–Working) HolidayHahaha! :P

It’s been one heck of a year for me. A new environment, a new job, a new set of friends, new challenges, new acquaintances. I managed to go through another year with the aid of the Almighty. And for that, I am very much thankful.

So, here's to 26 years of life, 28 years democracy and many more years to come!


Wednesday, August 17

(Without) Regrets

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." -Frederick Koenig

More often than not, we are caught with being preoccupied in living our lives that we tend to forget more important things. I received an email from a colleague, and the first thing that came to my mind was “what joke is it this time?” To my surprise, it was not a funny joke or a hilarious story. It was something serious. Honestly, I never thought something like this would come from him. So I thought, maybe this affected him and he wants other people to know (to quote his email: “share ko lang…”).

Well, I was affected and moved, so I might share this as well. For those who’ve already read it, it won’t do you any harm to be reminded of it. Read on…

Top Five Regrets in life
By Bronnie Ware

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Photo from here

Monday, August 15


A package of the good stuff
Set aside for the best
A box of rubble
To be disposed with the rest

A litter of things
Like the thoughts in my head
A myriad of emotions
And words left unsaid

An exchange of arguments
And messages sent across
A war has been waged
Was it yours? Or my loss?

Realizations were made
“I’ve been forgiven,” as you say
Now it’s time to declutter, move on
From what happened yesterday.

~my entry for Magpie Tales and Thursday Poets Rally

Summer's End

It’s the last night of summer,
They bade the shores of the beach goodbye
Both wearing a tan,
They enjoyed the season of fun

Heat, passion, desire,
The doings of the young
“Let’s talk,” said she, to which he agreed
Is it the end of a summer fling?

In the silence of the night, the crickets are chirping,
Melodious to the soul
Resounding in the ears
Almost deafening

Her angelic face, now devoid of emotions,
And her empty eyes staring at nowhere

She’s been like this for hours; it seems like forever by the porch
He feels worried
Was it something he said? Was it something he did?
His heartbeat from slow pace, now thumping

He gazed at her, and then she cupped his face
Tears fell on her cheeks; sobs echoed thru the wall
“I am bearing your child,” the silence she breaks
Oh, when summertime ends, then comes the fall

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