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Wednesday, July 20

Bitchin'


Since it's coffee break time, I might as well share what happened a while ago...

***

After a lunch out, I found myself dreading a long walk towards the FX bay. This is the part where you feel sorry for not bringing an umbrella. Ang Haring Araw ay galit na galit at one in the afternoon... So I guess it's a good decision to have grabbed a to-go drink from Chatime.

When I'm about to ride the FX,

"Ma'am pakiusod lang po ng konti, may sasakay pa.." said the courteous barker.

The 2 fatties inside acted as if they didn't hear the barker.

"Ma'am excuse po, may sasakay pa.." repeated the barker.

Napilitan naman sila ateng, at umusod naman na nakabusangot at parang masama ang loob. But honestly, when I looked at the space where I'm supposed to sit, I doubt if I'd still fit in there.

The polite me, still managed to smile at the two while I squished my way to fit in there. When I thought I was settled, I locked the door. Believe me when I say, the slightest turn on a curve could send me rolling, tumbling across the street.

Inside the FX, I'm like a wriggly worm... Coz I'm trying my best to find a comfy spot on my deprived part of the 4-seater. At my left peripheral view, I saw one of 'em fatties staring at me as if asking what the problem is. I didn't mind it at first. But when I turned to look at her, I caught her making faces.

"Bakit? Anong problema?" she sarcastically asked.

Then I snapped.

"Oh, you wanna know what the problem is? Your face!”

“What is it with you, making faces? I mean, c'mon... With that look, you don’t need to make faces… I'm sure your normal look would sell in a carnival freak show.. Oh, the horror!”

And when she was about to talk back...

“Bitch, please!! You have more issues than Vogue magazine.” (at talagang naipasok ko 'to sa usapan, I think I must’ve read it or seen it somewhere)

“And don't even get me started with that horrible nose.”

I giggled and let out a soft laugh.

“Seriously... It's like the yungibs of Benguet... With those humongous nostrils, I swear I could fit my fist in there… What's up with that? And, oh my gosh! Are those bats in there?! Yeah, that's right bitch! I swear, I saw bats!

The others inside the FX just sat there in silence.

***

But, of course, that was just all in my head...


In reality, when I caught her making faces, I just shook my head, let it pass, and took a sip from my drink. Nothing beats having a cold drink in a hot, humid weather (while being inside a jampacked FX).

Pearl milk tea, anyone?


P.S. Glentot!! This is partly your fault… Na-channel ko ang aura ni Doris nung moment na ‘to… Hahahah! :P

17 comments:

^travis said...

ahahaha. Nate, this is funny. I was rooting for you before I read the part that it was all in your head.

a refreshing read for my otherwise complicated day. thanks, man!

Nate said...

@travis: ahahaha! :P oh, i wish you were there with me to make gatong.. maybe, i would've had the guts to actually put up a fight.. pearl milk tea saved the day.. and i'm glad to have made you smile..

Yehosue said...

hehehehe :) i can feel na gigil na gigil ka na kay ate :) at blair waldorf ang peg ng bitchy moment mo :P

JERRO SANTOS said...

Madalas na eksena 'pag pauwi ako galing sa Mega. I don't blame the fatties', though. Hindi naman kasi talaga meant sa apat na tao ang middle seats ng fx.

Tantan Decena said...

ugh!!! Sayang, kala ko pa naman totoo na. haha

Nate said...

@yehosue: you bet I was! hahaha! eh kasi naman.. pero yun nga, naisip ko pa rin ang mga bagay na yun.. pero, respeto pa rin sa nakatatanda.. hais..

@jerro: may point ka dun.. I don't blame them, pero muntik ko talagang patulan.. tsk..

@tantan: ikaw na ang war freak... ay ako rin pala, muntikan ng merging war freak.. :P

Mac Callister said...

i wonder if you said all that out loud!baka nag subunutan na kayo sa fx nun!hahaha

Nate said...

@Mac: hmm... probably...

josh said...

hahhaa akala ko pa naman nagtaray ka talaga sa FX..hmmm, have never rode an FX in my life hahah, jeepney yup hehe :P

the green breaker said...

Lech! Haha. Natawa ako ng bonggang bongga. :)

Nate said...

@josh: kuya!!!!!!!!!! omg!!!! *hugs* i immediately followed.. :D hahaha! uhm, first of all, i won't stoop down to her level.. and second of all, respeto pa rin sa nakatatanda.. :) ah tlga? hindi ka pa nakasakay ng fx? the feeling is like riding a cab.. it's just that you share it with strangers..

@joe: hahaha! natawa rin ako sa sarili ko at naisip ko ang mga panlalait na yun dun sa part na "I giggled and let out a soft laugh."

i can't recall nga if nag-murmur ako habang nilalait ko sya sa isip ko.. parang eh.. ahahaha! :P oh well, hindi nmn siguro nya nahalata..

Ms. Chuniverse said...

Hahaha! Kung ako ang tanungin kung ano ang problema, sasagutin ko sya ng..


"Ang oversized balakang at hita mo ang problema!"


Ambait mo naman. Pwede kang gawing patron saint ng mga beki.


Choz!


:)

Nate said...

@hrh queen chuni: hahaha! madam, believe me.. ang fez at ang nose nya are sooo distracting, hindi ko na napansin ang "oversized balakang at hita" bwahahaha! :P

tamang bait lang, my lady.. kasi kuyog ako pag nagkataon.. 2 sila eh.. tapos dun pa ako sa malapit sa pinto.. WAAAAH! ang takot ko lang tumilapon at gumulong-gulong sa kalye.. ahahaha! :P Ambait mo naman. Pwede kang gawing patron saint ng mga beki.

glentot said...

I ave a feeling that this really happened, you're just too... nice(?) to admit it LOL... thanks for the shoutout! Next time gawin mo talaga, si Sasha Fierce naman ang i-channel mo.

Nate said...

@glentot: hahaha! if you were there with me, i guess i'd put up a really good fight.. hahaha! sige, the next time i'd snap, i'll channel Sasha Fierce.. barubalan na 'toh!! ahahaha! :P

Zip Reid said...

i can totally relate to this.. haha... made me miss my college days..

Nate said...

@zip: hahahaha! :P

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