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Tuesday, July 19

Evil Fairy Godmother-turned-Matchmaker Part 4

Dear Joe,

Since you requested for this, here it goes...


“Who would’ve thought that the Fairy Godmother could get any more selfish than she already is? Is it worth it to have a happy ending for Ms. Flawless in exchange of ruining Baller’s relationship with his girlfriend of 3 years? Traits of spoiled brat/ selfish b*tch? You decide.” ~From Part 1


“OMG!! Did you really go home in the morning?”

“Yeah, Nate… I did.”

“Like how early?”

“I dunno… Like three in the morning…”

“You went out? On a Monday night? Really now?”

SpongeBob just grinned.


The Fairy Godmother is starting to get stressed out because there’s still a lot more to do and there’s only a few days left before the big day. And to top it off, she even had quite an argument with her boss about a project with an impossible deadline.

“Come with me?”


“Please?? I just need to unwind… And maybe we could bond too while unwinding… So??”

“Lemme think about it.”


“Oh my gosh! So sumama ka? San?”

“Oo na… Eh, nakakaawa eh… We went to Tiende…”

They went to this place for pets. They were meeting someone… A friend of hers (Fairy Godmother)… She wanted to personally hand her wedding invitation to this friend of hers.

I’m sure, you and Jacq would get along well…” said the Fairy Godmother.

Jacq is her sounding board, her shoulder to cry on, her shrink, her ”bail-me-out,” her “snap-back-to-reality.” And to SpongeBob’s surprise, Jacq isn’t Jacqueline… Jacq is Joacquin. Jacq plays for the pink team (if you know what I mean). Jacq & Fairy Godmother have known each other their whole lives. They’ve been friends for as long as they could remember. Jacq is the kind of friend who won’t just look after your back; he’d also tell you things you’ll never wanna hear.

            Jacq: “So ito na yun?” (While reading the wedding invite she handed him)

            Fairy Godmother: “Yup! That’s pretty much it.”

            Jacq: “So, sigurado ka na ba talaga sa desisyon mo?”

            Fairy Godmother: “Oo naman ‘no? Ano ka ba?! Watch your words… I’m with a friend.”

            SpongeBob: “Hi!”

            Jacq: “Do you know the kind of guys your friend here used to date before her fiancé??”

            SpongeBob: “I, honestly, don’t know.”

            Jacq: “Well, she goes for buff/ beefy guys with shaved head, sun–kissed skin and tattoos…”

            Fairy Godmother: “OMG! Jacq, you blabbermouth! I’m so sorry SpongeBob…”

SpongeBob: “Nah… It’s ok… no worries…”


“For real? Oh my…”

“Yah… But honestly, Nate, during the cab ride going there, she already gave me a heads up. I mean, she knows Jacq, and he pretty much would talk nonstop about her past, so there…”

“Anong sabi nya?”

“She practically confessed everything to me…”

“Oh wow! Bravo! Bravo, my friend… Now you get the see the real her…”

“Yeah… That’s why I decided to go with her, Nate… I wanna decipher her. I wanna know what’s going on in her head. I wanna know how she’s like outside of work. I wanna know how her friends are. I wanna understand why she does the things she do, like what she’s doing with Baller & Ms. Flawless.”


Just when he thought the night is over, she invited SpongeBob to have dinner at Eastwood. He complied. And over dinner:

“So what’s the deal between Ms. Flawless and Baller? Did they ever do it?”

“Ms. Flawless just wants a playmate. She just wants to get laid. While Baller, is looking for someone to play along with him. That’s why I hooked them up. And who knows? They might just go further than just scratching the itch.”

“But Baller’s easy.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh c’mon, SpongeBob! Are you for real? Like which era were you born?”

“I’m sorry, I’m really not following.”

“I could’ve had him for myself, had he not shown his interest to my friend.”

Then SpongeBob froze…

Words of Jacq suddenly flashed back to his memory, and echoed in his head: “she’d go for buff/ beefy guys with shaved head, sun–kissed skin and tattoos.” Baller is almost like that. So, he thought, that pretty much explains it.

“How do you know for sure?”

“Oh, I know, SpongeBob… I know…” then sipped a little from her drink.

“It takes one to know one. I know his game. He’s actually sending me signals, so I sent out signals too. And mind you, SpongeBob, kumagat sya!”

“No… no he didn’t….”

“He did… He did! You know what SpongeBob? It really doesn’t matter if Ms. Flawless looks hotter than I am. All it takes is confidence, baby… What’s sexy in a woman, is her confidence… Well that, plus a little flirting, and voila!”
”So did they do it?”

“Uhm, Nate?”

“Uh huh?”

“It’s actually way past the afternoon coffee break.”

“Oh my f*cking gosh! It is…”

“Tomorrow, then? Or when do we get to this again?”

“I’ll let you know…”


Joe said...

Natatawa ako! Hahahaha.

akala ko pumunta sa Tiende para uminom.. ayun nmn pala. Ang harot ni Fairy godmother. hahaha

Nate said...

@joe: ahahaha! siya na!! siya na talaga... grabe noh?! but that's the reality of life... let's see what happens next...

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