Toxic and Alone

My mobile is ringing, but I ignored it. I went on to have snacks with my teammates. Who would’ve thought, this would be one of those toxic days?

I didn’t enjoy my coffee break, and what’s worse is that it was cut short because of 6 missed calls on my mobile and a phone call from the canteen. Seriously?! Who does that? Who’s effing crazy enough to call the canteen and look for me? But I understood Ms. J. The employees in one of our plants wouldn’t get paid, and her job depends on it; heads will roll, if you know what I mean.

With my Starbucks tumbler on my right and my mobile on my left, I dragged myself to their office. Then, I found myself in a frenzied room. The room smells “urgent”, “ASAP”, “deadlines”, and “last minute adjustments.” What have I gotten myself into?

The Department Manager stood firm on her decision: “walang uuwi hangga’t hindi yan tapos!”

My right ear hears a lot of complaints, while my left ear hears a lot of pleas: “Sir, please sana matapos natin ‘to para makauwi na ako. May flight pa ako mamaya.”

To cut the story short, I pretty much did what was supposed to be their tasks. Just so that we could expedite the processes, and make the employees of that certain plant happy to receive their payroll a day before the payday.

I called the partner to vent out. I felt so used. I felt exhausted. My head hurts like it’s splitting in half. The words of the partner are rather comforting:

It's ok babe, you have me. Let it all pass.

***

An afternoon the day after was a repeat of toxicity day. Four meetings straight from 3PM till the end of office hours.

I wanted someone to talk to. I need to vent it out, or I’ll lose my wits. The partner, apparently, also had a toxic week, so I let him party the night away with his friends. No restrictions (as far as amount of alcohol intake and curfew is concerned). I let him be. He deserves it.

I tried calling my “kaladkarin” coffee buddies instead. But unfortunately, they all have planned night outs already.

So I dragged myself to Edsa Shang to fetch some goodies for the partner, who’s craving for something. These ones in particular:

I was about to head home after that, but since I’m already at Shang, why not stay and do something? So I did.

I went to KFC. Mali pala. Mas mahirap pala kumain mag-isa sa fastfood. After getting my order, I tried to look for a vacant seat. Wala. I tried to look further dun sa may gilid, and there meron… Round table, couch type seat formed in a semi-circle, may sariling lighting.. Kaso, pang-animan.. Ako na ang mukhang loner. Pathetic.

So, I texted the partner of my whereabouts,

P:         Havin’ dinner by myself… Then coffee siguro…

            :(

C:         Talagang dinner by yourself eh no? :(

            Lika nga rito. Lets drink our troubles away. :3

P:         Tpos ung seat na available yung pang animan.. :(

ako na ang mukhang loner.. :(

C:         Yan kasi. Lika na!!! Kainin mo na yang dinner mo at mag landian na lang tayo.

Oha!!! Oha!!! San ka pa?! Siya na ang malandi… ay, ako rin pala… Hmm.. Sige.. Kame na ang malandi… :P

Nagpapaawa effect lang naman ako. I don’t wanna ruin yung nightout nya kasama ang mga buddies nya. So nag-text naman ako at gumawa ng rason,

P:         uhm, wait.. eh pano yung lakad mo with your friends?

            ang awkward lang kc gumala na may dalang lappie..

After dinner, off I went to make tambay and have a dose of caffeine na din:

 Starbucks’ Crème Brulee Frappuccino

The partner called to check me out, and I told him that I’m gonna be fine. We’ll meet naman on the next day, so I just thought of that to make me feel better.

Habang nakatambay and sipping my drink, I turned on my lappie and watched Hall Pass to kill time.

Tengene. Kill time daw. Eh mas maki-kill pala ang time ko sa paghihintay for a bus ride home. Kamusta naman ang dame ng tao at ang lampas isang oras bago ako nakasakay?!!

Hais…

A Kiss

Wendy said she would give him a kiss if he liked, but Peter did not know what she meant, and he held out his hand expectantly.

"Surely you know what a kiss is?" she asked, aghast.

"I shall know when you give it to me," he replied stiffly, and not to hurt his feeling she gave him a thimble.

photo from here

"Now," said he, "shall I give you a kiss?" and she replied with a slight primness, "If you please." She made herself rather cheap by inclining her face toward him, but he merely dropped an acorn button into her hand, so she slowly returned her face to where it had been before, and said nicely that she would wear his kiss on the chain around her neck.

~Peter Pan

***

“So, are we...?” asked C.

“Hold your question. Let’s meet tonight, and I might just give an answer,” said P. And so they arranged to meet.

It was drizzling that night. And P arrived at the coffee shop before C did. He’s both excited and nervous at the same time. A lot of questions are running inside his head: “Will C like him? What if C doesn’t? What would they talk about? Will there be sparks?” He just sat there, and patiently waited for C.

Then C arrived; late and apologetic about it. P doesn’t seem to care; his eyes are locked on C and just admiring how cute C looks when apologizing. When C is already seated,

            P:         Uhm, about your question earlier… Ask me again.

C smiled.

            C:         So, are we?

            P:         Yes.

They made it official that night. So, after the pleasantries and little casual talk,

            C:         Wait, I have something for you.

            P:         What’s that?

            C:         Here… Belated happy birthday!

It was a kiss.

Actually, P didn’t only get one kiss. He got three more, and C left marks—one on the right side of the neck, one on the nape, and another one of left side oblique. (I guess now he knows that C is territorial, or should I say possessive.)

C and the kisses are the best gifts that P could ever ask for on his birthday.

That was how they started. Who would’ve thought they’d last? A month has already passed and I’m sure there's more to come for the two of them.

***

I know you were hesitant at first, with all the “what ifs” going on inside your head. You’re afraid that I might not be able to catch you when you fall. But here we are, and we have each other.

I know this is something new for you; for the both of us. I just want you to know that because of you, I’m happy with little things: the exchanges of text messages, the sweet nothings, saying our good nights, and the dreams. 

I hope that we could make this light, floating feeling go on and on; and keep the fire of love aflame for next the days, weeks, months, years to come. I LOVE YOU!

Happy 1^st Monthsary!

Let me know if I'm doing this right

Let me know if my grip's too tight

Let me know if I can stay all of my life

Let me know if dreams can come true

Let me know if this one's yours too

'Cause I see it

And I feel it right here

And I feel you right here

~Gemini, SpongeCola

Sweet Nothings 4 – Of Sleep and Lullabies

WARNING:  (Almost) Nakakaumay...

P reminded C about reporting to work early. But for some reason, C can’t sleep. So, while texting…

P:         Babe, go to sleep na… You still have work tomorrow…

C:         I can’t eh… Could you sing me to sleep?

Then, P called C…

P:         Huh? Uso pa ba yun? Gumagana pa ba ang lullabies?

C:         Please? Sing me to sleep?

P:         Uhm, I dunno if I still remember any lullaby

He’s actually kidding… He knows a lot of lullabies…

            P:         Sige na nga… Here goes… (cleared his throat, and started singing)

***

Lullaby and good night

Close your eyes and sleep tight

Like a rose in its bed

Lay down your sweet head

 

 

Go to sleep do not cry

Till the morning is nigh

Go to sleep do not cry

Till the morning is nigh

***

On the background, he could hear C yawning. It put a smile to his face. The lullaby worked.

            P:         It worked? You’re sleepy na?

            C:         Yes.

            P:         Ano gusto mo, tagalog version naman?

            C:         Ay, nawili…

            P:         Oh sige na, sleep na…

            C:         Ok… I love you!

            P:         I love you, too! Good night, babe!

            C:         Good night!

When C hanged up, P went back to bed humming the tagalog lullaby… Hoping it would also lull him to sleep…

***

Meme na bunso, sa ‘yong duyan

Bantay mo’y ulap sa kalangitan

 

Pag–ihip ng hanging Amihan

Ipaghehele, bunso kong hirang

***

It did lull P to sleep, smiling... Because right now, with C in his life, there would no longer be one-way conversations with the moon or solitary slumbers...

 

“Close your eyes,” I told myself,

“turn your thoughts to happy things…”

“Rest is waiting, for your weary soul,

at the calm brook of your dreams.”

And Sleep did visit me, just in time,

when daybreak is nigh,

While in my head a song was playing…

it was a soothing lullaby.

Sweet Nothings 3 - Of Sunsets and Dreams

WARNING: This post is not for the faint of tooth. Please have a toothache drop ready or a pain killer, just in case. For those with diabetes, have your dose of Momordica Charantia first before reading. (Nyahahaha! :P)
 

His heart literally jumped when his phone vibrated; it was a message from C—a morning greeting. P told C that he already had breakfast and that he had a dream. After telling him about the dream, C texted him and it read:

Awe. I like!!!

I post mo yan. :3

It goes a little something like this...

***

I dreamt of you last night. The scenery is rustic, idyll.

We were at the countryside and the sun is about to set. I’m driving a convertible, and I remember looking at you every now and then while driving.

Your eyes are closed, wind is blowing on your face, and you’re smiling. Your countenance, sweet demeanor look serene.

I wanted to kiss you…

Then, I woke up having this light, floating feeling.

***

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the days
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
Blossoming even as we gaze

~Sunrise, Sunset (Fiddler on the Roof, Act I)

Sweet Nothings 2 - Of Worries, Paranoia, and Mushyness

WARNING: To those with weak tummies, please take caution in reading. It’s too mushy, you might throw up.

Something terrible happened the night before, and P can’t help but get worried about C; so, they had a talk. During the latter part of the conversation,

C:         I love you so much babe. I love how you get protective and restrictive. I feel so secure

and cared for. :*

P:        I promise to take good care of you, babe.. to the best of my abilities, and for as long as I can..

Basta promise me, that you’d always take care of yourself and you’d tell me of your whereabouts so I’d know you’re safe..

I sooo love you, babe.. it’s getting painful being without you near me, for even just a day.. waah! Baliw na ata tlga ako.. :(

It was already past midnight, and P dozed off. Then, the sudden hard downfall of the rain woke him up. He checked his alarm clock, and it read 4:30AM. He searched for phone, checked his inbox, and saw a text message from C.

C:         Awe! I’m just here, don’t worry about me. It’s just that sometimes I forget to text

 because im super busy. Haha. But don’t worry.

           Oh siya matulog ka na at baka mapuyat ka pa. I love you babe!!! :*

I’m going to sleep na rin. :* And please, you’re not worthless. Actually, you’re perfect! :3

You know that feeling when you feel so secure and safe like being at home? That’s just how I feel when I’m with you… I found my home with you… Someone I feel not awkward with… Someone comfortable yet someone you always long for… Someone who I love and he knows it too, even though sometimes I can’t express it… Someone who I’m proud of, who’s proud of me, who’s proud of being with me and vice versa. :3

I love you so much, P. I know that you know that too. I’m sorry for the lapses and shit I put you through. Even if I seem to joke around all the time, all of it are true. :3

It made his day. P can’t help but go under his blanket, and roll over the bed while giggling. He still has an hour left before the alarm sets off. But he can’t go back to sleep anymore.

A Cupcake, a Game, and a Boudoir

"Wish me luck babe, as I try balancing my bag, my lappie, and a chocolate cupcake for you.” It’s another balancing act for P. A bag, slinging on his left shoulder, a laptop bag on his right, a cupcake on his left hand, and his right hand clinging on a hand rail. The challenge now, aside from balancing his things, is not getting the cupcake crushed inside a jam-packed train. He survived the trip.

He waited for C at the coffee shop where they first met. “Will C like the cupcake?” he thought. The icing is almost melting. He just sighed. Melted icing or not, he’s sure Mom & Tina’s cupcake would still make C swoon over it.

The door chimed, and when P looked behind, it was C; looking as cute as ever. Their eyes were locked to each other and they both smiled. C sat on a chair in across the table so they are facing each other.

            P:         Hey there, babe.

            C:         Hi.

           

P was just staring at C, chin on hand, smiling.

            C:         What?

            P:         Nothing… 

            C:         Nothing?

            P:         I miss you.

            C:         I miss you too, babe. Do you want anything?

            P:         No.

            C:         You sure?

            P:         Uh huh. 
            C:         I’m getting coffee. Are you sure you don’t want anything? 

            P:         I want you (whispered)

It made C smile. C stood up and bought just one iced coffee, so that they could share. They took a sip, alternately.

C, then, started to eat the cupcake that P bought. P watched as C eats the cupcake one fork slice at a time. With C’s “mmmm’s” and thumbs up signals, P could tell that it was, as how C called it, delectable and orgasmic.

The kid in C wanted to play Defense of the Ancients (All Stars), so P obliged. Off they went to the nearest computer shop and secured 2 seats. Unfortunately, the computers are acting up so they moved to another seat, where the computers are slightly hidden.

            P:         I wanna make out.

            C:         Me too.

They looked around, and when they saw no one was watching, they kissed. After a few seconds, both pulled away to break the kiss in the hopes that no one noticed. Both just smiled after. It was sugar rush.

They won the first round, lost the second, and redeemed themselves on the third battle. The game was exhilarating.

They decided to spend the night together after the game.

The events that transpired after are kept in private. As they say,“what happens in the Boudoir; stays in the Boudoir”

***

In a way, C has found Le Chevalier de Mirval and P has found Eugenie.

***