Burnt

It started out as something plain. Then what was plain turned to something more complex. The one who started the flicker of fire has flowery words. I was ensnared, and the dalliance went on. What I thought was just harmless, apparently wreaked havoc. Then, it hit me. I have inflicted hurt (60% mindful, 40% unknowingly). There were prying eyes, yes, and I have been warned. Truth is, one of the prying eyes turned out to be the “direct hit”, the victim.

***

It seemed just like just one of those calls, although, with this one, I sensed the caller’s urgency. The caller was discreet in making the conversation flow from one topic to another. Then, the caller went straight to the main reason of the call. That’s when the caller revealed, that he was, indeed, the victim.

This is it—the dreaded confrontation. The accumulated flickers of fire I toyed with, inevitably, set me ablaze, and burnt me.

Fight or flight?

Neither.

I apologized, and asked for forgiveness.

***

This was not the confrontation that I was expecting, though. I was expecting a confrontation with someone else. Someone I was close to; who I considered as family. This is the longest that I haven’t heard from that person, and it pains me. I hope that a few days of being quiet towards me would not turn into a silence of a hundred years.

To you:

Hurl me with the sharpest of spears and shoot me with the most poisonous of arrows, and I tell you, I will take it, all of it; and endure it if I must. Rally an army against me, I do not care. For they know not of what really transpired and how really hurt each of us is. Bring not the war to an inhabited forest full of gossip-mongers. Instead, let the battleground be in the middle of a desert, where an oasis is nearby. So that only the two of us could battle in a duel, and whoever wins would not end the life of the other. Instead, he would let him take a drink from the oasis, allow him to clean his wounds, and shake his hand after, like how a true warrior should treat an opponent. (I guess no one really wins… But things have to be sorted, straightened out, and settled)

The silence that you kept and the war that you waged have to stop.

---

And I just want you to know, that after all that’s said and done, it still doesn’t change the fact that I miss you… Badly… And I still want us to be friends.








photo from here...